a little politics... a litte religion... Im such a rebel because this post is about them BOTH

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/rabbi-shmuley-boteach/are-mormons-any-weirder-t_b_1116390.html?ref=fb&src=sp&comm_ref=false

A friend posted this on facebook and I really liked the article for the ending point he makes (this is just the part I really liked not the whole article) :

"Hence, our concern need not be with a person's faith in public office. It does not matter if they are Jewish, evangelical, Mormon or Muslim. What does matter is whether their faith is focused on relating to God and, by extension, caring for God's children, or whether they see the purpose of their high station to promote their particular religion. It is easy to identify the difference. People who are in a relationship with God are humble and do their utmost to refrain from judging others. Their proximity to a perfect being reminds them of their own fallibility. Their experience of God's compassion leads them to be merciful and loving. But those who worship a religion are arrogant and think they have the only truth. They are dismissive of other people's beliefs and maintain that advancing the cause of their religion is more important than life itself. The rabbi in Israel who recently made the strange comment that soldiers should face a firing squad rather than listen to a woman sing is a classic example of this heresy.

Those who worship their religion evince the classic characteristic of cult members. Whereas a real faith system is empowering and makes one strong and capable of operating outside their own faith community, cult members can only identify with other members of their group and require the environment of the cult in order to function. They don't have beliefs. Rather, they take orders."
I like this so much because I do believe there are both types of people, I however don't believe that those who worship their religion and not God are always aware of their error. I have gained humility and understanding through the trials I have been through in life, not just current but also previous things to my divorce. I continue to learn about the Saviors unconditional love and that the atonement is there for everyone and every sin, big or small, young or old, mormon or not mormon, and that its not my place to judge a persons heart, I do believe that you can judge a persons actions though which brings the opportunity to safeguard yourself or your loved ones from becoming caught up in the wrong things. My dad told me when I was really angry with Kevin a few wise words that go through my brain at random times now and that was "You cant crucify him because of what he did, he may not have been thinking about everyone involved, but you have to love him and show him forgiveness" To me that means because someone makes a crappy choice you cant hate them or badger them or spread a bad rep but you have to realize that they are human and make choices that they may already or may one day really regret and then let go of it. How would it be if everyone I had ever wronged or everyone that knew my mistakes "crucified" me for my mistakes. Oh boy! So any person at anytime is deserving of love and forgiveness. It's required of us to forgive everyone (everything) but God will choose who he forgives because only he knows the sincerity of the heart. I'm kind of getting sidetracked from the article! haha. But I think as an LDS member having lived in Utah you do run into people who are judgmental and worship the rules of their religion and miss that step of getting to know the Savior and his infinite love and understanding and tolerance and forgiveness. I know that even those members probably mean good but don't quite see the foolishness in the way they are. I have recently said "I'm not mormon because I believe in the people, I am mormon because I believe in the doctrine." That is true. If my testimony of the gospel was only people deep I would have left the church a long time ago. But when you weed out the negative people in your life and really read The Bible and The Book of Mormon and understand the things they teach and open your heart and feel God's love and goodness then you will know as well :) Anyways yep, I liked what he wrote.. and I like Mitt Romney.. hes got my vote.. and not just because hes mormon! Obama seems to disagree though .. he is always after Mitt!

Nighty night! xoxo

My blog needs major help.

Or I just need a MAC so I can have one of those super neat clean looking blogs. Yep, I'm going with the MAC idea. Well I have seen friends start the blog post of what they are grateful for and have wanted to do one as well, it gives ya something to blog about :) So I will catch up real quick with eleven things I'm grateful for!

1. Mariah Noah Godinet. He has my heart one hundred percent. He teaches me so perfectly.
2. A sound mind. One that I think is pretty good at thinking :)
3. Running and the difference it makes in my life. Its a big pick me up.
4. The good, the bad, and the ugly. Every little experience in life that has impacted me in any way.
5. My Family. Dad Mom Ben Nat Kim Annie Beth Blake Brad Bret Mariah and Kevin and their spouses and children.
6. Beauty - Inside and out!
7. Living in safety and not having to worry a great deal about it.
8. Dr. Pepper (This one is a love hate.)
9. Forgiveness. Id be doomed for sure without it.
10. My crazy Mom whom has a huge heart and is a solidly good person.
11. My crazy Dad whom has an understanding heart and is solidly (good) and strong person.


I really love the holiday seasons. I do hope though that winter stays in its months this time around and we can see a spring soon after the new year! I cant wait to sign Mariah up for swim lessons and go to the park and ride bikes on summer nights together. Having a child is really the best thing in the world! Yum <3

I went to seattle the end of October to see some of my friends that are my oldest friends as in we have been friends since 6th grade.. how old does that make you 11? so 12 years! Melissa had a sweet lil babe Raegen who was so precious and good the whole time I was there. Melissa's home is so homey and cute and totally Melissa - I loved it! I got to see some of Washington and it is such a gorg state! Emily and I had time to go do a few things in the city and lots of time to talk and make memories, I love my girls! <3

17 MIRACLES

I loved this movie. (I also think that main actor is looking pretty good.) It was such a great reminder of the sacrifices that we forget or maybe never knew of. It definitely left me in tears and gave me many impressions of attributes I need to work harder to obtain, and also things I need to teach my babe. I sometimes feel like there is so much in the world to distract us in our day to day lives - even just technology wise with cells phones with internet, tv, media, music just about everything we do includes some type of technology or entertainment. It's really nice some days to just turn it all off, leave the phone in a drawer, talk in the car to Mariah instead of listen to music, steer clear of TV and movies and just be old fashioned let your brain think for itself instead of being fed what to think through technology and media. I am humbled tonight by the things the pioneers before us endured, both in and out of the church. I hope to be proven as strong as them, what a blessing that would be!

OBSESSED!!!

MARIAH. K I am so obsessed with Mariah and everyday I become more and more obsessed. I don't even think it's healthy anymore! I do want to say though - I don't think I am one of those mothers who favor their child because they are (sickly) obsessed and are weirdies. Being a mom has really made me love all kids more in general because I now know and treasure the tender little feelings and realize how much our kids depend on their parents. It really drives me nutty when a parent is nice to their child but super macho with other kids. I just want to squeeze and love and every little child.  I love being a mother and I love my Mariah. He is perfectly naughty and cute and mine!

Next. DIVORCED. Ugh. Bugging me. I hate being divorced. I hate it for a lot of reason even though I know it is completely necessary. I am a lover. I can argue and get mad / mean but at the end of the day I am a lover. I had an AMAZING example of an amazing marriage and family growing up from my parents and siblings. I was taught true love is service, forgiving, selfless, and endurance. When I love people around whether it be friends or family I truly love them. (Obviously) I truly loved Kevin. I still love Kevin. He is family to me because he is Mariah's dad. I don't want to be married to Kevin because Kevin and I are headed two completely different places. And he is kinda annoying ;) ( I say that lovingly ) But I still love Kevin and his family. AND THEN.. I always stress about being able to deal with having a somewhat broken family for the rest of my life. I didn't grow up around divorce. A few friends parents were divorced but I never saw it in my family or experienced any of the drama of divorce. I don't like that Mariah will have 2 dads. It is a foreign situation for me and I just want him to have what I had. (Iespeciallydon'tlikethathewillhaveanother"mom".) BLAH. It is what it is and I will do my best to make our life as smooth and loving and homey as I possibly can. Mariah is loved and I am sure it will only continue to increase and become greater as life goes on.

Last but not least. THE GOSPEL. I can't even say how grateful I am to have it. It is the foundation of everything I believe in, everything I hope for, everything I try to be. It gives me answers, it gives me strength, it gives me comfort. I am absolutely certain there is nothing better. When life feels heavy or media feels filthy or people just seem bad hearted - I can always mosey on over to LDS.org and read a few talks and feel at peace. I love that my religion is based on Love, Forgiveness, Tolerance, and Family. It focuses on everything happy and good and doesn't have any room for judgment or pessimism. I know that sometimes people who are the same faith as me become confused and are judgmental or critical but we each have our own weaknesses and all have room to improve. I love our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ - they have made the perfect plan for us and will never abandon us. I love seeing people - it doesn't matter what religion - that acknowledge God and the good he gives, those are the people I admire and those are the people I like to be surrounded by.

I lovey lovey lovey my baby, my family, my friends, the fall, cute clothes, being a momma, and the opportunity to learn and grow! And you.... <3 ( I don't have any new pics so here is some old ones I love.)

Okay I need some help....

figuring out how to do my blog background! Update: diet is good, I have lost pounds it is so true you are what you eat! I feel great, however I am starting a 30 day diet on Oct. 1st I will post on it periodically about my success and my tips and my weaknesses! I am going to be better about posting and try to update this once every sunday!
Happy week everybody! <3

Eat Healthy. Work Out. Be Skinny.

 I want to lose 20 lbs. I don't want to lose 20 lbs in 2 months. I want to lose 20 lbs in 20 days! Can it be done. I think so. But we shall see. I have been eating a lot healthier these past few weeks. I haven't eaten bad or had fast food, candy, soda etc. and it really feels sooo sooo good. In fact TODAY I ate fast food which included a soda and an ice cream annnnd... I feel so ew. So I threw away my meal before I even got half way done and decided.. nope, not for me. I want to stay healthy. And then I decided to write a post on it. Before I had Mariah I was a huge yo yo dieter. I was also big on running. I started running in junior high. I would run around my parents subdivision and I was on the cross country / track team. The couple years right befor I had Mariah I would jump on the treadmill and run 7 miles in an hour. I have always wanted to do a marathon. I remember going to the gym with my dad as a kid and HE would run 7 miles. Okay so yeah... I love running. I want to be a healthy mom and wife. I gained 60 lbs with Mariah. SIXTY POUNDS. Yeah, I just admitted that. I couldn't breast feed so I lost the initial 20 in the first few weeks and then slowly lost 20 more... then gained 20 back... and then lost it again. Oh the fun. Now I have 20 lbs to go until I hit my pre baby weight. And I am sooo ready to say goodbye to it FOREVER. I will never be chubby again in my life. Ew. I HATE being chubby. I don't mind chubby people :) but I do NOT do chubby. good. at. all. I even hate the word. K so here is my whole point. I am going to blog all 20 days of my diet. I know pretty much everyone wishes they could lose a few lbs or be better at working out. Except for those annoying skinny ones who are like.. "oh you're trying to lose weight hmm I wish I could gain some." "Cool, anyways..."

Day one - this is my plan....

1 gallon of water - 6 apples ( thanks em :) )

Why so crazy? Because like I said up there.. I ate junk today and feel EW.

Work out - 2 miles working on speed. I currently run at 6.5 pace and for the last 2 minutes I up my speed to a 7. I also peek at all the skinny girls who are running and they are running at 7 like the whole time so that is what I am working on... getting out of the 6's.

STRETCH. So important. Stretching to me is like half my improvement abilities. Especially since I have had shin splints for months now and they are still bugging me.

More cardio - I like to jump on the stairs for some extra cals - I do the Fat Burn at level 8 anywhere from 5 - 30 minutes depending on my energy level.

Weights lifting - Legs. I do one legged squats holding 8 lbs. dumbbells. I also do the hip abduction both directions and the leg lift machines.

I should look like this in no time. ( 100% lying. I don't think I could ever look like that. But a girl can dream.)

I've had it.. yep I'm super over it.

Ummm K.... someone told me the other day that if you think 2 is bad wait til 3. Hmmmm Mariah hasn't hit 2 yet..... I'm going to be submitted to a crazy house.
I have been keeping my fridge stocked with drinks... ya know like 24 water bottles, capri suns, powerades when they go on sale.. I literally have a whole shelf of drinks. Mariah Noah has decided that this is THE MOST FUN thing mom does... EVER. Why? Because that means that he can get into the fridge.. throw the drinks out one by one... chew on all the capri sun straws... and if he so desires... throw away as many brand new drinks as he'd like!!! WHAT. IS. THIS. CHILD? People tell me all the time... "You must be running all day..." (insert sympathy face here) "I am... thanks. Oh, and the fact that you feel the need to tell you also know my child is naughty makes me think you're lame. ThatsitKthanksBYE." Hmmm.. maybe we need to do more quiet, cuddly, concentrate, reading time... I'll let ya know if it works!

a lil shania....

i feel like im crossing that invisible line from a girl into a woman. maybe i should have felt that a long time ago considering i have been a wife and a mother but i have never felt like it more then i do now. i feel like nothing can get in the way of my confidence and determination. i feel like even though he chooses to disrespect me i choose to respect him - and me. i dont care what or who or how he does things anymore. i just care that mariah knows that i was classy when i dealt with it. that i would never do the same things to someone else done to me - no matter the circumstances. i think that it would be easy to focus on meeting guys, and being social, going to parties, finding satisfaction in the moment - now. but i also know what kind of happiness that brings and i know the outcome of it. i am just really happy to be a smarty pants. im okay with waiting and being patient because i know how much more it will mean when whatever it is im waiting and sacrificing for comes along.

things that make me happy lately.

music.

mariah.

super cold bottled water.

seeing burned calories at the gym.

chick flicks.

clothes.

feeling liberated knowing i can be financially independent.

church. church. church.

ignoring dramatic people.

my days off.

my days on.

getting rid of b.c.

getting in bed at the end of the day and sorting out my thoughts.

swimming.

bachelor pad.

appreciating true friends.

feeling like a woman!

:) <3

i know my posts are kinda intense lately. but ... its my life right now.

Man! I Feel Like a Woman

Life

Pain and suffering brings the sweetest relief. I love that feeling of comfort and confirmation after a hard time. I am so lucky to have the people in my life that love and support me. I'm so lucky to have the cutest little boy ever. I love mi familia mucho gusto! I feel so blessed to have been given the life I was. I have a million things to be grateful for and I only want to spend my time soaking them up and enjoying every minute of them. I know that a lot of people have it harder then I do, I wish I could lend them the helping hand and love that makes such a difference in a difficult time. Life if truly about giving love and service and building each other up. I am grateful I have been able to learn that.

He has achieved success who has lived well, laughed often and loved much; who has gained the respect of intelligent men and the love of little children; who has filled his niche and accomplished his task; who has left the world better than he found it, whether by an improved poppy, a perfect poem, or a rescued soul; who has never lacked appreciation of earth's beauty or failed to express it; who has always looked for the best in others and given them the best he had; whose life was an inspiration; whose memory a benediction.
-Bessie Stanley

I wanna be a billionaire...

....soo freakin bad. Somedays I pretend I am. Like today. And yes.. it does make me feel good to spend money even though I have none. Hello hot rich husband............... wherrreee aree youuuu???

 Excuse my messy couch.

Mariah's new shirts. First two dillard's and last one Gap. On sale.

 

I was meant to shop <3 Alot.

SO PROUD.

Today I gave Mariah a snack size bag of chips and he was walking around the living room watching Monsters Inc. and eating those chips, well he finished and threw the bag down on the floor - which made me look up at him... after he threw it down he looked down at it, paused for a moment then picked it up, walked over to the trash can... and threw it away!!! I didn't say one word to him... smartest 18 month old ever! I clapped and praised my saint of a child. He also ate asparagus... which surprised me. Two more weeks until nursery!

On another Mariah note... we started potty training!! I am crazy yes. Seeing as he is a few weeks shy of being 18 months he is a wee bit young..... but I've been feeling bored lately so potty training actually sounds appealing. Plus I can take the $50 a month I usually spend on diapers and spend it on his wardrobe.. which is super fun! So it makes sense... bored = potty training = extra money = fun! Today was our first day, and today he went potty in the toilet! He sure did... but when he peed it shot straight out instead of into the toilet so I like pushed it down but then he would stop so I would let it go and he would start again... oh the fun we will have.

He is a babe. My babe. I love my babbe.

Venting sesh... open.

I am def. not perfect, I have made a lot of mistakes, and I'm sure there is more to come, for the rest of my life. But I am so glad that when it comes down to it I have self respect, I have confidence, I have strength, I have the Gospel, I have a reason and purpose for living. I take advantage of the amazing blessing I have been given to be a mother. To be the adult and provide for my family. I don't shrug off my responsibilities or try to pass them on, I accept them and I do them. I am so glad I know what it means to LOVE somebody, not just tell them you love them, but show them you love them. I am so glad that instead of being certain I was miserable I took a leap of faith and chance at being happy <3 I will never turn my back on someone I make promises to, someone I shared such precious moments with, and I will never tell someone I love them and then turn around and make an a$$ out of myself when its showtime. So grateful that He has blessed my life in countless ways lately, and shown me that He is aware of me and wants me to be happy. I know that we have something amazing coming our way, sometimes the waiting is hard but absolutely no doubt it will be worth it. Bad day. Just breathe.....

On a happier note, I love this outfit... and will have it this fall. Happy thoughts!

super spendy!

 

 Before

 Middle

 Not quite finished - I still have a few more things to do...

 The lighting was so weird right here... but this is where it will hang when Im all done

My (dinky little Ikea) couch <3 (because the comfy kush ashley couch didn't fit down the stairwell.. bummer) .. I was about to throw these pillows in the D.I. bin.. they came off my bed but I was looking for couch pillows at the same time.. I like them here.

As my good friend Will Smith would say....

.... this chapter of my life is called "HARD WORK".

 Seriously. I don't think I'm much of a complainer usually but being a single parent is in no way easy. And I am 100% a single parent.. mentally, emotionally, physically, financially. I know there are so many people who are single parents and I have a new found compassion for these people. I also know there are harder things in life. But so far in my life.. this has been the hardest. I have seen so many blessings in my life recently though, as its been the toughest it's also the most rewarding. I have been grateful for the lessons I'm learning, the second chances I am getting, and the improvements I see in the making. I look at everything I have to accomplish in a week and I have to sit back and take it one day at a time. Last week I had been working for 7 days straight and work was literally taking me 10 - 12 hours a day... I couldn't wait for my day off so I could clean my house, catch up on laundry and just have a moment to pay attention to Mariah or just sit and do nothing. So my day off came - Mariah woke me up around 8 and after breakfast I went straight to cleaning. ( I would just like to note... I HATE cleaning, and growing up I usually weaseled my way out of it.. one of the pros of being # 4 of 9 kids ;) ) Anyways, Mariah went down for a nap and I got into deep cleaning, while I was deep cleaning (which I hate even more then just cleaning) I was starting to feel super overwhelmed and I may have started crying - but the impression that this was preparing me to be such a better in me in the future hit me.. and all I could do was laugh and say "Okay God, I get it." I do feel like every trial in my life right now is refining me and preparing me to receive something amazing in the future. My dad always reminded us growing up "Where much is given, much is required." It's the perfect thought for me right now. When I get remarried, I want to marry my BEST friend, I will get married in the temple, my husband will be a true Christian (LDS) through and through, and he will have the desire to go above and beyond the ability to care for, love, and provide for our family. I would never settle for anything less. I know that my husby sounds pretty close to perfect and so I keep telling myself .. "Where much is given, much is required." This is why I am so grateful for all the hard work I have been given to do - Because I know that at some point in my future I will be blessed for my perseverance, faith, and willingness to do everything in my power to make the best life for Mariah and myself.

On a side note - having an ex you cant ever get rid of is also hard. Sorry Kev - while I think your a cool guy.. your not my fav. Surprise, I know. Kevin and I really try to keep the drama to a minimal and just know that we both LOVE Mariah and that somewhere deep down we really want the best for each other. That is sometimes hard for me to remember when I see Kev doing things I disagree with, things he promised me he would never do, and things he said never mattered. BUT - It's not my problem, it doesn't affect my personal life anymore, and I will do my best to help it not affect Mariah's. Kevin is a good person, but he is also a very young and for lack of a better word - naive person. So while I love him, I cant stand him. (Right now.)

Another short story and a short run! Kim (my older sister) and I ran ... well more like jogged ... a 5k today. We did it this morning in SLC before the big parade. I am really trying to get back to running like I used to and Kim is wanting to get way into running too so when she called me up and said lets do this I was like totally! It was a good preview for what I can look forward to in Sept. as well and now Oct. Kim and I are running a 6k which is an all girl run and the theme is "Love your body". Love it. Anyways Kim and I finished in like 35 minutes today which we decided was great for us considering our lack of preparation for the run and Kim had a baby less then 7 months ago!! I know she's amaze. So we loved it and we got our first medal. So what if they gave everyone a medal, and one side says Mcdonald's... Its a metal!! :) So after the run that was at 7am ( I literally slept MAYBE 2.5 hours the night before ) we walked around SLC for a few HRS and then headed over to the "this is the place" park and did some fun things with the kids like pony rides, a petting zoo, a mini parade and some other fun stuff. I headed home from our day around 3pm and I was sooo exhausted! I couldn't wait to get home and nap! Mariah of course fell asleep in the car and we got home about an hour later... needless to say.. Mariah didn't feel like napping... and I felt like crying. So after a little bit of struggle trying to get Mariah to just take a nap because I was ready to die.. I gave up and I turned on a movie for him and then went to sleep in my bed.. Mariah felt like that wasn't such a great idea and stood beside my bed and pulled my hair, or hit the bed until I looked at him and then he smiled like YAY you are alive time to play mom, so I got up after probably 20 minutes and decided Okay I am going to say a small prayer and ask for a break RIGHT now if it doesnt happen then fine, but I think I deserve and I think He knows that. So I got Mariah and put him in his crib again, laid in my bed, said a small prayer in my head and 15 minutes later he was SLEEPING! I literally like laughed out loud to myself because I knew it was a small miracle and my prayer was answered! I got a 2 hour nap, Mariah slept for 3 and God is good people. He's so aware of us and our needs and with a little work on our part he is just waiting to give us small little miracles like these!

Kim and I after our fun run!

 Mariah's new puzzle I got for one dollar and fifty cents at winco while grocery shopping. Love a good deal!

 My house for the last few days...

 Mariah and uncle Brett watching monsters inc and Grandma using my computer.

Lets be honest... How could you want to sleep instead of hang out with that adorable face???

Well for starters... only sleep 2.5 hours, then wake early early to run a run with your sis you didnt prepare for, then walk 234 miles directly after run....................................

My FIRST race!!! How exciting RIGHT!!

So I just registered for my first of many races! I am doing this race because I love the cause. I have always wanted to volunteer in a third world country but when I had Mariah that had to be put off for a LONG time. I will adopt a baby (or two) from a third world country and I hope to be part of some organization that reachs out and has a positive effect on these little ones. I'm so excited to be training and doing something that I have always wanted to do.. two things with this race :)

Info on the race.. and yes I will be donating my shoes! A great reason to upgrade to some newtons right?!

The Racing the Cane Foundation is committed to improving the lives of these children in the Dominican Republic’s sugarcane fields. Our goal is to encourage local community involvement in raising both scholarship funds and shoes for distribution.  During this year’s Racing Cane event, runners will have the opportunity to collect and donate shoes. After the race we will journey to the Dominican Republic to distribute the shoes and host a free running event for the children there. Part of your registration fee will go towards sponsoring Dominican children to attend English academies, as those who speak English have a greater chance of attaining further education, becoming employed, and thus breaking out of the sugarcane fields. We believe that education and enterprise can help stop the cycle of poverty and give these children the option of a better life. Come join us and the Racing the Cane Foundation for this important event. All 10k and 5k runners will be chip timed, receive gender specific Tech Shirts, and enjoy a party at the finish line with Magelby’s Fresh breakfast, massages, bounce houses and face painting for kids!

Happing Running!

Ahh today was such a productive day it just didn't feel right to not blog as well! I have had so much to do this last few days with just getting back into town, working like crazy ( from home remember? :) ) and catching up on trip laundry and mess pulled into the house from a few weeks in the car. So I officially am caught up on work, started my gym routine, have a clean home, a clean car, and am back into the swing of things in Mariah's and my life! FEELS SO GOOD <3

So I yesterday was not such a great day.. I felt really overwhelmed with life in general. I felt so heavy like I just needed a big breath of air. I asked God to give me the strength and motivation to keep things going, and today that prayer was more then answered. I have felt so positive all day - I felt so blessed for the trials and experiences I have been given. I feel blessed knowing that I don't hold onto to bitter feelings and that I will have a lot of love in my life because of this. I am so glad to my little 'Riah with me too. One of my favorite times is in the morning when he wakes me up from his crib, I pull him into my bed and we snuggle! He loves loves loves cuddling up in blankets.. Which I love because I have always loved having a big comfy comforter and lots of pillows to cuddle up in. He is such a blessing in my life. I love the things that being his Mom is teaching me and the way it is refining me. I love that he goes to nursery in like 7 weeks too.. hahah BUT seriously for all you mothers that have a toddler and try to sit in sacrament and then through two classes... yeah right. At least with Mariah. We do sacrament and then we go home! But 7 more weeks and then he has all his new nursery friends to entertain... he will be missed. ( Not. )

So a few weeks ago Annie came to Utah to help me for a weeks. Love that girl. My Uncle Ron and Auntie Thelma came to visit from Aussie land. It was a lot of fun catching up with them and getting to know them a little better. And then Bethanie came for a few days and we headed to Az to find those two an apartment! They are moving there next month for school and some new stomping ground. I'm so excited for them. Arizona has a great young scene and is warm when we are snowy for like 90% of the year! It was a fun but really short trip. I got to meet up for brunch with one of my best friends who I met in az a few years ago while I was living there. I really love that girl. She is a true friend. It was fun catching up and reminiscing... but it left we wanting more! I cant wait to be out there again and have more time with her. Then we came to Utah for a few days and then left to Idaho for the 4th of July. We went up to McCall, Idaho which is just gorgeous. We stayed in my families cabin and then jet skiied all day for the 4th. Watched the fireworks over the lake. Mariah and I got our first solid tan for the summer! And we had some quality family time with Kev, Mariah, and myself. It was a great trip.

Well its almost midnight and I am SO exhausted ... but here are a few pics... Enjoy :)

Love.

Yesterday Mariah and I were playing outside at my parents home, at the end of the patio around their house there is a step and Mariah is usually fearless and just goes and does but for some reason he ran to the end, stopped, looked up at me and held out his hand, when I took it he then stepped down and kept going. It's little moments like these that your child calls you to your role of being a Mother. Small and simple but I hope and pray that Mariah will do the same thing over and over until he is 100! I love my little man and I love how he teaches me things all the time just out of simple love and has literally changed who I am for the best. He is my fav.

May!

So for most of May Mariah and I were in Idaho. I felt like I really needed to get out of this teeny tiny apartment and be around some family, so that is what we did! Now we are back in Provo and back to school and I am  finally getting some hours in for work. ( I work from home.) June should be a fun, busy month. In a few days my sister A gets into town!!!! We are working out, eating healthy, go swimming & shopping, seeing movies and then in a few weeks we are taking a road trip to AZ!!!! We are so excited! We have also been planning a few other trips for the next few months which include NYC & San Diego! Tickets have been purchased. We cant wait and I love having sisters.... older and younger! I have also decided to redo my apartment. My new moto is "Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication" - Leonardo Da Vinci
When I was married it was really hard for Kev and I to decide on ANYTHING. Kevin does it all ladies... He loves to decorate, dance, and everything else :) And I always felt like I had to let it be his way... but no more. Its back to MY way and I do believe I have great style ;) So I am cleaning out my closet - Say goodbye to all those married sweats and tees (never to return again!), pre pregnant clothes, maternity clothes.. and hello to a long overdue NEW wardrobe.

I definitely feel like when you get divorced you go through different phases, like it was dragged out in the beginning, then the back and forth, then the moving out and trying to look forward, then you kind of fall back a little and go through and mourning phase, ya know the mornings where you wake up and the first thing you feel is just a feeling of unfamilurarity - which leaves you in kind of a panic. And you ask yourself that dumb question - "Why me?" ( I dont love it when people say why me... why anyone? ) Anyways I know why me... It's because I can handle it, probably because I need to learn something from it, and because I am blessed enough to see the good in it. ANNDDD then! You get to the point where your so sick of yourself and the lame - o you've been lately... It's like a light bulb totally pops on and you have a burst of energy and zest for life again.

I am sure in future posts I will refer to being married and being divorced - but despite the fact that Kevin and I are done in our marriage - We are still friends, we still see each others family with no hard feelings, and strive to have a happy & healthy relationship for the sake of Mariah and the love that we share for him. It hasn't been extremly long but its been a process and one that I feel like is finally passing through the grieving phase and coming into the time to kick some ass phase. ( As in do everything I always wanted to do before I was married,  buck up and get some things established for Mariah and myself such as religious, financial, educational type stuff.) So I feel like re-doing my whole life right now. So excuse me while I get a bit SUPERWOMAN-ish.

Things I love lately...

Oversized earrings <3

Animal print <3

Nude colored anything really <3

And last but not least - getting in the most amazing shape <3

#4 Meaning behind your blog name..

I dont have one so.....

xoxo
Thanks for reading ;)

Love. LOVE. Love.

Day Tree.

PET PEEVES-

Would be having too much junk and no room. 

Crappy customer service.. hello you get paid for this so at LEAST .. BE NICE!

Selfish people, A liar, oh and someone who thinks they are right so they argue forev but they are actually sooo wrong.  ( Did I just describe someone? )

Thats it :) 

xoxo

 

Change of subject-

Okay, I have always been a bit emotional, mostly in private. I can be really sensitive and I usually take things that people say to heart. But when I was pregnant I would cry about the most random things... tv commercials that were supposed to be funny but the sheer fact that the commercial was about a mother/child... I cried. Just random things like that - a friend defending a friend, simple things - totally made me cry! WELL recently I have been like that again... like the movie No Strings Attached... please someone normal watch that and tell me one thing that would make you cry during that movie??? I leave a friend to drive home - I cry. I read other peoples blogs who are married and have young kids - it makes me cry!! I watch Khloe break down and cry on her show and then Lamar comfort her - you guessed it - I bawl like a babe. One of my aunts sent me a nice " thinking about you " message - very simple but to me... I cried not once, or twice, but probably three times because she went out of her way to say "I love you". I loved that. What in the world is wrong with me. A lot of times I find myself crying I also have a feeling of excitement, I have a beautiful babe, I have had so many blessings lately, and I have something to look forward to. 

But really... I thought my pregnancy ended 14 months ago?????

Number tutu!

My favorite recent movie would definitely bee.....

 

I don't know maybe it was the day but I totally cried during this movie! Which is so weird if you have seen I'm sure your like what the heck! But I did.... I teared up a few times. Its not a sad movie though, it's a romantic comedy and while I dont support or condone the whole idea the movie gives off.. it was so cute! I will be buying it. 

xoxo

A super sly guy!

Ohh, mom has money... 

 

 I better make sure she's not looking....

 

Oh good! Shes paying attention to driving.. 

The things ill buy with you! But first I need to hide you.... 

I knew this stupid seat I hate so much was good for something... 

 

Im sooo smart.... and soo rich.

K really, Mariah did this. He took all my money and squished it tightly into the corner of his seat under his bum! Probably because hes always getting into it and Im always taking it away.

Love these two adorables!

xoxo 

P.S. No my son is not motherless and doesnt usually leave the house in his lazy crazy and hair undone.